Looking Back: Assessing the Childhood memories of Anai
Introduction
You may be considered fortunate if in your youth you enjoyed all the rich things; you played happily with your friends, your parents provided for your needs, you could eat whatever you wanted, you could go wherever you wanted, and much more. Memories that you will definitely remember. For many of us, childhood is the happiest stage of our lives because we don't have to think about heavy things and make decisions for ourselves and others. In my own experience, while it wasn't perfect or all that much fun it was meaningful and left me with memories that I will cherish until I die. But, amusingly, many of us have had the opposite experience since birth, experiences that in their viewpoint should not be remembered or revisited. This is the experience shared by the person I spoke with experiences that you may believe are only seen in movies. This person means a lot to me, which is why I envisioned him as the main character in this paper. He has been my classmate since I was in high school, so I know enough about who he is and how he has overcome ups and downs of life.
Let us name him "Anai" after a famous Japanese character that means grace and cave; he chose this name because he believes he shares many characteristics with this character. So even though he is known for just being brave, efficient, and strong-willed. In reality, this is just a mask because his true personality is fearful, insecure about everything, and has difficulty dealing with or socializing with other people. Perhaps there is an opportunity for him to show his true self to others, but he is afraid because many of us do not understand it.
To begin with, unlike many others, his experience was not positive when he was young. He was a baby, so he didn't get enough attention; perhaps his parents were too busy looking for work to support them. When he was a child, he was frequently passed around by different relatives to be cared for. He is not often able to play with his peers because he prefers to help his parents earn a living, so he does not have enough memories that he had a normal life, according to him. He was a baby at the time.And as time passed, he encountered situations he never expected to face at the hands of his blood relatives. According to him, he was subjected to verbal sexual assaults in which he was frequently told hurtful words such as stupid, useless, totally worthless, and that he would die. On the one hand, he also experienced physical abuse, including beatings at a young age, and what's worse, his own relative molested him whenever he was said to be drunk or absent from right thinking, which greatly affected his personality and caused him to be traumatized.He gradually lost trust in everyone he came into contact with as a result of this bad incident.Furthermore, During our high school days when we first met I started to notice something different about him; it seems to that you are not like many of us as children who like to talk, play, and be easy to get along with; instead, he prefers to be alone, quiet, and does not want to talk or play with our classmates. There are times when his actions are inappropriate.There are times when he does things that you would think are unusual for a high school student, such as suddenly running, giving food as if it is not in his heart, and facing difficulties forming a circle of friends for a variety of reasons.As a result, he became a victim of temptation and various negative experiences while we were still in high school. I tried to be his friend so that I could learn and understand what was causing his strange behavior; perhaps he was just looking for someone he could confide in to share his thoughts with. But I was disappointed because he preferred to be alone and refused to accept help from others.Self-assessment on his positive and negative qualitiesI believe I saw both his negative and positive qualities during the few years I was with him while we were still in high school. In terms of his positive character, it is impossible to deny that he is a good person who is helpful to others, respectful, and generous. I've also seen him be strong despite receiving a lot of negativity from others, and even though he still has various problems that he's dealing with, you can't see him giving up on his face. And it can be traced back to this desire to take steps to ensure that he is fully understood by everyone with whom he interacts.Meanwhile, it is hard to deny that he, like all of us, has bad qualities.In my opinion, you can't blame him if the trust he gives to each other isn't very deep because of the experiences he's had. This is a defense mechanism in which he prevents himself from being hurt too much in the end by not over-extending his trust.Health issues that he think affect his behavior.
As I continued to speak with him, I realized how much his past had changed and affected his behavior, because, for example the sexual abuse he had caused him a lot of anxiety, posttraumatic stress, and loss of confidence in many areas. Sexual abuse, for instance, includes all forms of sexual violence, such as rape, incest, child molestation, and other forms of nonconsensual and sexual contact. Meanwhile, many experts believe that sexual abuse involves more than just sex. Instead, it is an attempt to gain control over others. On the one hand, even though phasing was difficult for him in high school, it did not prevent him from continuing his studies. In fact, he has recently started a social work course in order to help others. And, despite his experiences, he is still not entirely free of his customs. But he is working hard to overcome it and become a better version of himself.After we talked about his life and how those experiences influenced him greatly. This has seemed to have served as a means for me to fully understand and fathom him as a person and individual who had endured bitter and traumatic experiences. This also enabled each of us to be open and aware of the reality of life, which is that not everyone has the same experience. Many of us prefer to hide in the dark or at least hide in order not to experience the terrifying reality of life.Applying Concepts and TheoriesErikson’s Psychosocial DevelopmentTrust Vs. MistrustAfter hearing Anai's story, I can think of several concepts that can be applied here. I learned these concepts in class in Psychology. In this view, Psychosocial Development can be used in this case. The first stage of Erikson's theory of psychosocial development is Trust vs. Mistrust, which begins with the birth of an infant. Where the infant is still uncertain in the world in which they live, it is intuitive for them to seek a primary caregiver for stability and consistency of care (Mcleod, 2023). If the infant receives adequate, reliable, and predictable care at this stage, they will gradually develop a sense of trust that they will carry with them as they grow up and will feel secure.However, if they are unable to meet it, they develop mistrust, suspicion, and anxiety. In Anai's case, because he did not feel the consistent care, and also because of his childhood memories of being passed around by his relatives to take care of him, he does not feel reliable and consistent care, and as a result, he developed fear, mistrust, and heightened insecurities, particularly when it came to building relationships with others. This is proof, as well as a way to explain Anai's actions and behavior now that he is older, where he no longer meets and satisfies certain needs he had as an infant.Initiative vs. GuiltThe third stage of Erikson's psychosocial development is initiative vs. guilt. Children will assert themselves more confidently during this stage through play and other social interactions. This is the period of vigor action and behavior that parents can see in their children, according to Bee (1992). During this period, the child interacts with other children to play, and they are given the opportunity to explore on their own and develop their interpersonal skills through activities. However, if this is not met at that age, a child may develop guilt, causing the child to be slow to interact with others and may inhibit their skills and creativity.Furthermore, the child is unable to exercise self-control and conscience. In Anai's case, because he was not given the opportunity to explore during that stage of his life, as well as because he did not fully interact with others his age during that time, as well as because he was assisting his parents in the search, he gradually developed a sense of guilt, which resulted in him having a difficult time interacting with other people and finding it difficult to exercise control over his behavior.Intimacy vs. Isolation
Erikson's theory of psychosocial development includes the sixth stage of intimacy vs. isolation. We begin to form intimate relationships with others during this stage. We try to explore relationships that will lead to a long-term relationship; if this is successful, it will lead to the virtue of love. On the one hand, avoiding intimacy and being afraid to commit to others and relationships can lead to isolation, loneliness, and, in some cases, depression. Applying this stage to Anai's story, it appears that it is because he finds it difficult to form intimate and loving relationships with other people as a result of his upbringing. This resulted in him feeling extremely isolated and lonely, as well as experiencing depression.Sigmund Freud's 5 Stages of Psychosexual Development Theory Freud believed that personality develops through a series of childhood stages during which the pleasure-seeking id energies are focused on specific erogenous areas. On the one hand, the erogenous zone is defined as a region of the body that is extremely sensitive to stimulation. The erogenous zone serves in relation to the five stages that serve as a source of pleasure during the five psychosexual stages, which are the oral, anal, phallic, latent, and genital stages (Cherry, 2023).
Oral Stage (Age range: Birth to 1 year)At this stage, the mouth serves as the infant's main means of tarnation. The infant is said to be highly dependent on their caregivers at this stage (who are responsible for feeding the child). Through oral stimulation, the child can develop a sense of trust and comfort at this stage. The only major conflict in this stage is the weaning process, in which the child becomes less reliant on caregivers. And if the fixation occurs at this stage, the individual will have dependency or aggression issues. Using this stage, it appears that because Anai no longer meets this stage, he had a dependency problem where she was looking for so much attention that she did not feel during her childhood.The Phallic Stage (Age Range 3-6 years)During this stage, libido, according to Freud, is primarily focused on the genitals. At this stage, the child is in the stage where they are just beginning to discover things, such as the difference between male and female. This stage is only shown because Anai will no longer apply the sense of discovery during this stage due to various factors. As a result, he did not develop his interpersonal skills, making it difficult for him to socialize with others, which has manifested now that he is older.The Latent Period (Age range: 6 to puberty)During this stage, the superego develops while the id energies are suppressed. Social skills, values, and relationships with others are developed during this stage. At this age, a child is also more concerned with peer relationships, hobbies, and other interests (Cherry, 2023). If this isn't met by a certain age, there's a fixation with the inability to form a genuine relationship. And in Anai's case, many factors influenced his behavior and on this stage as a result of his childhood experiences. Because of the sexual abuse he endured at the time, this also serves as a barrier to him forming relationships with other people.Subjective AmbivalenceEugen Bleuler, a Swiss psychiatrist, coined the term "ambivalence." Ambivalence, according to him, is akin to astonishment or confusion of emotions and perspectives. There are different types of ambivalence, but in Anai's case, the Subjective ambivalence can be used. Subjective Ambivalence, also known as attitudinal conflict experience (SA, Thompson, Zanna & Griffin, 1995). This depicts an individual's psychological experiences of conflict, where the (active manifestation) mixed reactions or feelings (cognitive manifestations) can be seen. This can be applied to Anai's story, in which he experienced traumatic events as a child that triggered his psychological behavior.Because of the bad events he experienced, it has manifested in his behavior now that he is old. In Anai's case, the negative experiences he still thinks about or remembers become the catalyst for his behavior.References:Ambivalence.(2005, June 19). WIKIPEDIA. Retrieved from:Ambivalence - Wikipedia
Burns, E. (2017, September 29). Freud’s Five Stages of Development. The Classroom. Retrieved from: Freud's Five Stages of Development - The Classroom
Cherry, K. (2023, November 14). An Overview of Sigmund Freud’s Theories. VeryWell Mind.Retrieved from:An Overview of Sigmund Freud's Theories (verywellmind.com)
Cherry, K. (2023, March 13). Freud’s Stages of Human Development.Very Well. \Retrieved from:Freud's Stages of Human Development: 5 Psychosexual Stages (verywellmind.com)
Mcleod, S. (2023, February 24). Erik Erikson’s 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development. Simply Psychology.Retrieved from:Erik Erikson's 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development - Simply Psychology
Furthermore, During our high school days when we first met I started to notice something different about him; it seems to that you are not like many of us as children who like to talk, play, and be easy to get along with; instead, he prefers to be alone, quiet, and does not want to talk or play with our classmates. There are times when his actions are inappropriate.There are times when he does things that you would think are unusual for a high school student, such as suddenly running, giving food as if it is not in his heart, and facing difficulties forming a circle of friends for a variety of reasons.As a result, he became a victim of temptation and various negative experiences while we were still in high school. I tried to be his friend so that I could learn and understand what was causing his strange behavior; perhaps he was just looking for someone he could confide in to share his thoughts with. But I was disappointed because he preferred to be alone and refused to accept help from others.
Self-assessment on his positive and negative qualities
I believe I saw both his negative and positive qualities during the few years I was with him while we were still in high school. In terms of his positive character, it is impossible to deny that he is a good person who is helpful to others, respectful, and generous. I've also seen him be strong despite receiving a lot of negativity from others, and even though he still has various problems that he's dealing with, you can't see him giving up on his face. And it can be traced back to this desire to take steps to ensure that he is fully understood by everyone with whom he interacts.Meanwhile, it is hard to deny that he, like all of us, has bad qualities.In my opinion, you can't blame him if the trust he gives to each other isn't very deep because of the experiences he's had. This is a defense mechanism in which he prevents himself from being hurt too much in the end by not over-extending his trust.
Health issues that he think affect his behavior.
As I continued to speak with him, I realized how much his past had changed and affected his behavior, because, for example the sexual abuse he had caused him a lot of anxiety, posttraumatic stress, and loss of confidence in many areas. Sexual abuse, for instance, includes all forms of sexual violence, such as rape, incest, child molestation, and other forms of nonconsensual and sexual contact. Meanwhile, many experts believe that sexual abuse involves more than just sex. Instead, it is an attempt to gain control over others. On the one hand, even though phasing was difficult for him in high school, it did not prevent him from continuing his studies. In fact, he has recently started a social work course in order to help others. And, despite his experiences, he is still not entirely free of his customs. But he is working hard to overcome it and become a better version of himself.
After we talked about his life and how those experiences influenced him greatly. This has seemed to have served as a means for me to fully understand and fathom him as a person and individual who had endured bitter and traumatic experiences. This also enabled each of us to be open and aware of the reality of life, which is that not everyone has the same experience. Many of us prefer to hide in the dark or at least hide in order not to experience the terrifying reality of life.
Applying Concepts and Theories
Erikson’s Psychosocial Development
Erikson's theory of psychosocial development includes the sixth stage of intimacy vs. isolation. We begin to form intimate relationships with others during this stage. We try to explore relationships that will lead to a long-term relationship; if this is successful, it will lead to the virtue of love. On the one hand, avoiding intimacy and being afraid to commit to others and relationships can lead to isolation, loneliness, and, in some cases, depression. Applying this stage to Anai's story, it appears that it is because he finds it difficult to form intimate and loving relationships with other people as a result of his upbringing. This resulted in him feeling extremely isolated and lonely, as well as experiencing depression.
Sigmund Freud's 5 Stages of Psychosexual Development Theory
Eugen Bleuler, a Swiss psychiatrist, coined the term "ambivalence." Ambivalence, according to him, is akin to astonishment or confusion of emotions and perspectives. There are different types of ambivalence, but in Anai's case, the Subjective ambivalence can be used. Subjective Ambivalence, also known as attitudinal conflict experience (SA, Thompson, Zanna & Griffin, 1995). This depicts an individual's psychological experiences of conflict, where the (active manifestation) mixed reactions or feelings (cognitive manifestations) can be seen. This can be applied to Anai's story, in which he experienced traumatic events as a child that triggered his psychological behavior.Because of the bad events he experienced, it has manifested in his behavior now that he is old. In Anai's case, the negative experiences he still thinks about or remembers become the catalyst for his behavior.
References:
Comments
Post a Comment